An "A. P. B." on the Kings River

On the local news this evening, the Kings River was described as a dangerous killer. It seems some area residents have misjudged the river's depth and swift current and have lost their lives in numerous drowning incidents.
I wish the Kings River could sue for defamation of character.
May I suggest that the true "killers" are Human Carelessness and, in some cases, Alcohol.
The runoff from this season's snow melt has made the river's current dangerously fast. On the video I viewed, the water seemed to be racing downstream.
If the Las Vegas oddsmakers could set odds on the showdown between Mother Mature and Human Carelessness, the odds would favor the Lady by at least 10 to 1 every time. Perhaps for the upcoming Labor Day weekend, one can play the 3-day Exacta.
If I were to testify in court, I would be a character witness for the Kings River: "He don't say nothing; He must know something; He just keeps rolling along. He can't keep fools from jumping in."

A Bug's Life

I was sitting outside on the patio earlier this evening. It was a pleasant experience ... for a while.
Eventually, a fly began harassing me. It was a brilliantly planned attack. Land. "Shoo!" Land again. "Dammit, get outta here!" Land on another body part. "Will you PLEASE leave me alone?"
You get the idea.
And as darkness gathered, I knew the arrival of a mosquito or two would be the next distraction. I wondered, "What if all flying insects belonged to same union and were expected to go to work each day?" I imagined the following conversation, between Chuck, the Fly and Buzz, the Mosquito:

LOCATION: A place of business ... a time clock attached to a wall.
TIME: 2O minutes before dusk.

BUZZ: "Hiya, Chuck! How was work today? You look rather pleased with yourself."
CHUCK: " Hey, Buzz. I had a blast! I ended my shift with a classic routine. It was hilarious!"
BUZZ" " Let me guess. A human again, right?"
CHUCK: "Yep. He was sitting alone. Wearing short pants. I tried the classic 'Leg; Leg; Arm' sequence on him. He was flailing more than a deranged masochist. And then I did it again. And again. I saw an empty chair nearby. Just far enough away that he couldn't reach it. I landed there and taunted and teased him. It was Textbook ... all the way!"
BUZZ: "Congratulations! Do you think I'd be interested in him?"
CHUCK: "Oh, yeah. He had juicy calves. It's like they just built a new Starbucks in town! Say, how was your trip?"
BUZZ: "The family had a great time. We went to Yosemite. Hung out with some tourists who were camping. I shouldn't over eat like that. I get drowsy and fall asleep after dinner."
CHUCK: " Well, they say that's what vacations are for. I better be going. Gladys is expecting me home to help with the Little Maggots."
BUZZ: " See you tomorrow. I think I'll go see if this guy is my cup of B positive."

I Haven't A Clue

Do you lead an easy life?

What if we could classify everyone in one of three possible groups?

The first group: Those of us who have figured out how best to make life complete and are moving towards that goal.
The second group: Where most of us function, living as best we can. Having good days, bad days and the usual ups and downs.
The third group: Those who make life much more difficult than it was meant to be.

I find myself in the last group. The more I try to understand life, the more confused I become. Apparently, I am clueless regarding interpersonal relationships. The more effort I invest in making friends, the more others avoid me. When a person attempts to draw closer to me, the more I try to push that person away. As a result, I am a lonely person wondering why no one wants to be my friend. I'm pretty certain life wasn't meant to be like this.

What makes me happy? I don't know anymore. I DO remember being happy as a child. That seems like someone else's life.

What basic truth in life did I miss?

Glenda in the Land of Oz: July 4th. Let's Post for Peace!! Join in!!

Glenda in the Land of Oz: July 4th. Let's Post for Peace!! Join in!!

World Cup Soccer

The United States soccer team laid an egg at the World Cup. Many Americans were hoping the team would do well and give us a reason to be proud of our country.
Now it's back to facing the quagmire in the Middle East, a dysfunctional Congress, a misguided President and lack of respect from the other nations of the world.
How frustrating it is to be ashamed of one's country.

Innocent Sounds

Living not too far from a grammar school, one of the neat sounds I hear is the children playing during recess. With a window open, I can hear the excited screams of a group of girls reacting to something on the play ground. Boys yelling instructions to each other, while playing baseball or some other game. I can remember back to when I was in grammar school. When finding your place among your classmates and a group to belong to meant everything. And sneaking a glance at the girls. How I wanted to be popular. How I wished I was brave enough to talk to girls. I thought Marilyn Miller was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Don't think we said a word to each other, though. Where did you go, Marilyn Miller? I wonder how many boys on today's school play ground have those same feelings and fears that I did back then. I wish I could reach out to them. Tell them it will be all right

I've Been Bitten

Happy Memorial Day Weekend to me! Something bit me on my toe and the back of my thigh. My foot is swollen. I'm watching it. If it gets too weird, off to the ER I go.
I tried to watch the Indianapolis 500 race on Sunday. It just isn't the same as in the old days. Who are most of these people? The race cars are so small, there's no place to adequately display the cars' numbers. Well, there is one good area, on the side of the car. But of course, that space is reserved for the car's main sponsor. Knowing that Danica Patrick was driving the # 16 car was useless. The best I could make out was that her car had some blue on it and the sponsor's name was Tangent, or something like that. It's too late for these guys. NASCAR is King. {spits terbaccy juice}. Yep. Sure as hell.

Slamming Blogspot

The Wall Street Journal had a recent article rating different blog hosts. Blogspot was slammed for being so f-----g difficult to understand. We all should be on the MSN version. It's not perfect, just easier.

Fears

Trying to understand my fears. There are so many of them. Success, failure, health, death and everything in between. That's a daunting task ahead of me. Wish me luck.

Anxiety

So now, I'm dealing with anxiety attacks. Sheesh. They are perhaps to most evil thing a mind can create. I hate them. I want them to go away. Taking medicine .... helps sometimes, but I don't want to remain drugged up all day. What powerful monsters, these brains of ours.

A Timex Moment!

Great News! I just had my heart checked, and the cardiologist says I'm doing well. My "ticker took a licking, and keeps on ticking"! I am blessed.

Am I Not Pretty Enough?

I have had the lyrics to Kasey Chambers' song running through my head. Whether boy or girl, those of us who were/are not very attractive have had our share of heatbreak.

"Am I Not Pretty Enough?
Is my heart too broken?
Do I cry too much?
Am I too outspoken?
Don't I make you laugh?
Should I try it harder?
Why do you see right through me ?"

All those lonely high school days, missed dances; trying too hard to fit in. Nope. Don't need to attend high school reunions. Life is painful enough.

Tattoos,the NBA and the Velodrome

I don't enjoy following the National Basketball Association as much as I have in days gone by. One reason -- I just don't "get" tattoos. OK, a person might be justified in having one tattoo. When a player, or anyone is covered with images and words on their body, I find it very distracting.
Another reason the NBA has lost me ... too often, the outcome of a game is decided in the last quarter. It's as if the first three quarters were, well, why does anyone bother? I'm reminded of those cycling races held on banked tracks called Velodromes. Most of us have watched that competition in the Olympics. No matter how long the race distance, in the early laps, the racers are slooowwly circling the track, playing mind games with each other. Then, with a few laps to go, everyone peddles with everything they have to win the race. It's like watching two guys play chess for an hour only to have the winner decided by which one can leap out of their seat and run to the door first.

OMG, The Giants Are A Mess!

Watching the Giants play has become difficult. Can you believe the pitching staff is that awful? A bad sign ... the staff "ace", Jason Schmidt, is getting rocked. Those reports that he has lost velocity on his pitches may be true. Let's take a look at Kirk Rueter: an aging left-hander, without a decent fastball, trying to get by being "crafty". Hmm... Seattle pitcher Jamie Moyer is over 40 and having a nice season. My suggestion to Kurt is to study how Moyer pitches. Each time Rueter goes to the mound, I wonder how long he can survive using the "chuck & duck" approach. The relievers seem to be pitching scared. Maybe, just maybe, it's time for a new pitching coach. And our manager, Felipe Alou. When the Washington Nationals played at SBC Park, I was struck by the irony that their manager, Frank Robinson, was once manager of the Giants. He is turning a roster of "nobodies" into a fun, exciting team who may finish the season with a better record than San Francisco. At the least, it appears to me that he has a better idea how to handle a pitching staff. Hey, catcher Mike Matheny! I thought you were adept at handling a pitching staff?? Please ... plase don't make me say "I wish we still had A. J. Pierzynski." Barry Bonds ....what a mess. At least I'm thankful I didn't draft him on my fantasy league team.

The Pope and Product Disclaimers

The world mourns as funerals for the late Pope John II begin. In many ways he was a great man. Those stories can be read everywhere. Unfortunately, some of his policies were too "Old World" to be relevant to citizens of the world today.
I don't understand why the rules banning women from becoming priests can't be relaxed. To ban women from the priesthood forever does not bode well for the future of the Catholic church. Supposedly, finding enough priests to meet the demand of parishes around the world is becoming more difficult. Seems to me tapping into women as a new resource to fit the need would be the pragmatic and innovative course to follow. Will the new pontiff travel a different path? Probably not.
The questions of birth control and celibacy of priests also need to addressed by the new papacy.
More contentious is the idea of same-sex marriages. Faiths of all kinds are split on this issue. Try to imagine how much more relevant Catholicism would be if the definition of marriage would change. John Lennon reminded us "It's easy if you try". Not to worry though. That one will never happen. More "Old World" thinking for the 21st century.

I've just about had it with product disclaimers. We've all been subjected to those audio tag-ons to radio advertisements and bottom-screen visuals used to cover the advertiser's rear end. On radio, some announcer races through a line or two at break-neck speed, leaving us with no chance to actually what was said. On television, the disclaimer is super-imposed on the screen in such small print, the only way we could ever actually read the message would be to record the commercial, freeze frame on the disclaimer and sit 2 feet from the television. Who's kidding who here? What a joke.
Let's quit pretending those are true disclaimers alerting the public to specific conditions of sale or use.
I propose we require advertisers to simply state, "Before you spend money, read actual terms and conditions offered". After that, any potential customers would be on there own.

Peanut Butter

I see Skippy has introduced a natural peanut butter that doesn't need stirring before hand. Now that is cause for celebration. I'm imagining even Crick and Watson would be impressed.